Home for the Holidays (Anxiety)
Holidays are meant to be a time of joy. You get to spend time with your loved ones, decorations are warm and bright, and celebrations abound! However, for a lot of people (and for a lot of different reasons), holidays can be particularly stressful because so many of the events center around food. You have your huge Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, the cookie swaps, the stocking stuffers, the office parties, happy hours and themed drinks, and so much more.
For a lot of people, food is kind of stressful. If you’ve never had an issue with feeling guilt over something you’ve eaten, have never given a second thought about what a calorie really means and have magically always had a healthy relationship with food: I envy you. Although I am currently in the process of building a better relationship with food, I’m also still on my weight loss journey (the two aren’t mutually exclusive, y’all - it’s actually way better for you in the long run if you ditch the diet culture!). So, yes… I’m a little stressed about the sheer amount of food available during the holiday season.
What if someone starts pressuring me to eat more? To eat less? What if they make comments about my weight (especially since I am also getting married next year, and for some reason people find it completely okay to comment on bride-to-be’s’ bodies)? What if they start to grill me about what I am or am not eating or drinking?
It’s especially more stressful if on top of all of that, you’ve (like me) struggled with an eating disorder in the past.
Now, I am not a dietitian. I’m not a licensed health professional.
But I am learning and teaching myself how to heal my relationship with food, and as this is my first holiday season in a really long time that I am planning on not feeling guilt about what I put on my plate (and then consequently enter a harmful binge and restrict cycle), I thought I’d share my little game plan on how I plan on simply enjoying my holidays and their subsequent feasts.
It’s called intuitive eating.
I know, I know, it sounds a little woo-woo.
But I think it’ll come in handy during the holiday because there’s no rules. No ‘fast until dinner to save calories (which is honestly a trap and more often than not will cause you to overeat and feeds into a vicious cycle)’, ‘stop eating after x pm’, or ‘3/4 of your plate must be vegetables and you may only have one bite of pie’, or any other ridiculous thing like that.
The only guidelines are the ones that come from inside of you (your heart, mind and body).
Take the time to actually listen to yourself. Is your body hungry? Then eat what you’d like. But also check in with yourself while you’re eating. Are you satisfied-almost-full? Then maybe save the rest for leftovers. The food won’t disappear. Is your heart and mind really wanting your grandma’s famous pecan pie? Then have a slice! You have this pie once a year - savor each bite!
The big key is to not wolf everything down so you’re not even enjoying this one-a-year meal. It also can leave you dissatisfied and lead you to eat even more (regardless of how full you are). Holidays are about being happy, not uncomfortably full.
Now, I know you’re not going to be eating your Thanksgiving or Holiday dinner in a bubble. You’ll most likely be with family or friends. And people talk. So try to set gentle boundaries with these people first thing. It’s okay to say yes, and it’s okay to say no.
You don’t have to explain your entire history of your relationship with food to anyone who passes you a dish; but if Aunt Mildred is being particularly pushy about her candied yams, it’s okay to say no thank you. Making and giving food is a common love language, so you might want to say something like “Thank you Auntie! You know I love you’re cooking, but I’m already satisfied from the rest of the delicious food - can I package some and save it for later?”
The same goes for anyone who wants to bring up (the often triggering) discussion of diets and weight. If it’s something you want to talk about - go for it! But if this discussion is triggering, makes you feel uncomfortable, or just simply not something you want to share at the dinner table in front of everyone; go ahead and change the subject! There’s nothing wrong with redirecting and asking instead how their job or school is going. And if that doesn’t work - go ahead and take the blunt route and let them plainly know you’re don’t want to talk about that.
Diet culture is often all around us, but it’s especially prevalent during the holiday season - which doesn’t help with anxiety. There’s so much information on what and what not to eat, healthy swaps you should make, and so on. But these messages and rules can negatively impact our relationship with food. Be mindful of the food choices you want to make, and make sure you’re doing it for you, and that it feels right.
Ultimately, what you eat during the Holidays doesn’t matter.
Say it with me: it doesn’t matter.
They’re just a few days out of the year, and how you eat during the holidays doesn’t define how you’re going to eat the rest of the year. If you count calories or macros and don’t meet your goals on these days - it’s okay! Move on, and most importantly: use each Holiday as an opportunity to connect with your loved ones. After all, they’re really what the Holidays are about.
Stay happy, safe, and healthy this Holiday Season my loves.
xoxo, Sarah
