Here We Go Again…
Look at me now, will I ever learn… there’s a fire within my soul… mamma mia, here I go again!
I’m not going to lie. I’ve been putting off writing this blog post.
A lot.
Because it means I have to admit something I haven’t wanted to for a while now - that I’m back. That I ‘failed’.
Let me back up here: in case you haven’t been with me since the beginning of this blog in 2020 - this started as a fitness/wellness space - mainly to serve as a spot of accountability and inspiration for me during my weight loss journey. I went from an unhealthy size to a pretty dang healthy one for my wedding; and I was happy, confident, healthy, and glad with the body I was in (something that I had struggled with for the majority of my life).
I was also determined that I was not going to get back to that unhealthy body size place again. And for a while, I didn’t.
But then I gradually began to gain weight. There were life factors (hello, buying our first house, moving, transitioning to a hybrid work model instead of the fully remote situation I so love, getting a rescue dog - the list goes on) of course - but long story short? I weighed myself and it was like a slap in the face. I was back to that highest place of unhealthiness I had ‘started’ at.
I both didn’t and did know how I got back here.
I’m going to be honest. I’m upset about it. I’m kind of angry. But mostly, I’m embarassed and disappointed in myself. It’s upsetting to know you have to ‘do it all over again’. It’s frustrating because I was there and now I have to get back.
For a couple weeks - possibly a couple months - I let this get to me. I’d say - okay, I’m starting now. I’m going to kick myself in the butt. And I would. But then something would happen, and I’d be right back where I am. If not a little more demotivated.
Yesterday I really decided I needed to do something about it.
I knew I needed help. As much as I hated to admit it: clearly what I was doing wasn’t working.
So, I made a choice. I scheduled a call with a personal trainer/nutritionist and booked them. Yes, I’d love to be saving money. But I cannot live with disliking the body I am in more. I need to make a change. I need someone to give me a bit of structure when it comes to workouts; to guide me when it comes to nutrition. To educate me so that well and truly, this time I lose weight and fat and keep it off for good.
I really think I found the place and people that are going to help me do that, and I’m so excited for this program to fully start on Monday.
Stay tuned, all. A new and improved, happier, healthier, smaller me is on the way.
xx, Sarah
